Something I have had to face in the past year is that I cannot do all of the things within a given day that I once did. No, I am NOT throwing in the towel, but I am learning to fine tune my energy output.
I guess one might say I got my comeuppance this past year with all of the broken bones and breast cancer.
I got a good old-fashioned dose of humility- not a bad thing really. It helped me understand even more than I am in this boat along with all of you, and I am no more special than anyone else.
You know that expression that goes "The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak"?
God, I used to hate hearing older people say that. I would think to myself what weenies those people were.
I, Paula, the invincible will never fall prey to bodily trials. No, not this woman- uh, uh.
Here is another saying: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
Yup, the girl has had to really learn how to accept stuff, and I say, Sir, I will rise to the occasion.
I now take this on as my new challenge: how to still enjoy my life to the fullest without having it the way it has always been.
I worked hard to get my life to where it is. I am blessed with enough money, a good mind and too many dear friends to list.
I am resilient. Joan Borysenko, a physician and the author of many books recently spoke on the topic of resilience.
Here are the components:
1. You have to accept the situation.
2. You must have faith that you can deal with the situation.
3. You must find and use your sense of humor as much as possible. Thanks to my mother and my grandmother both my sister and I inherited a very dark sense of humor. We can laugh at the darkness even though tears may be pouring down our faces as we do.
4. You must be able to improvise. Being able to look at the situation analytically and break it down into smaller components helps me to keep on keeping on.
5. You must have friends. Oh, baby.
Borysenko also talks about what she calls "wise-selfish". That is taking yourself out of your own problems and helping someone who needs help too.
And I must end this post by honoring the love of my life- my own boy, Dan. He calls me his "girl".
We have been together since 1981. We've stuck together through a lot. No, it has not been easy, but it has been good. It has been right.
He was my long-haired hippie artist/tech geek who wore old Birkenstocks that were ragged at the toe as though a dog had taken a big chew. We back-packed through Europe for three months. We lived in a pop-up camper in the woods for over two years while we built our home on the bay. We nursed-up many a stray cat. We threw huge parties, and we danced our butts off.We were once so broke we could not afford to go out for Halloween.
Halloween night somewhere around 1985
Dan and I are lying on our bed which is a mattress on the floor. We are in some serious financial straits.
There is a knock on the door behind which are a group of our friends. They have come to force us to dress up and go out to celebrate. I remember naysaying them, but they would not take no for an answer.
The Girl and Her Boy
Manitou Island, July 2012