DEad Man's Curve

Sometimes ya just can't take much more

at least for awhile

When i was very young my memory of the first bad thing was when i found my teddy bear doll in the tiny woods behind our house. We lived in one post ww 2 suburbs of Kalamazoo north of Main Strett and called Westwood. The neighborhood still contained heavily wooded vacant lot which I am sure have long since been developed, but as a child who was born just a few years after the war ended my mother and father were of the first young couples to set up housekeeping there.

Behind our house was what I referred to as the woods, an dyou know how everything seems larger and more mysterious when you are a small kid. So, see, these woods were big and full of undiscovered mystery to my seven year old mind.

I lost teddy one day in what was probably one of the last days before the days became horrificly and short, cold and confining. Perhaps it was an Indinan Summer day.- a day in which one can drop the wool sweater and perhpaps enjoys one last days of shorts- a surprise sort of look up number ofhours for Indian usmmer. prefaced by weeks of what appears to be the end of anything resembling warm weather. And all of a sudden it is warm again and great joy is taken because you know it is swan song for summer. It is a bittersweet sort of loveliness. It is that last truffle from the box you received for a birthday. It is chords in a Strauss waltz which reminds you of mother. Indian summer is all of these things.

story of tedddy in the ice

then go into mels dx, identiy theft, party, accident, trip, medical maze, leg, suicide, and turning 60

I best steer my mind away from the dangers, of course, that is the wiset tack, and I am getting there by returning to the things that continue to save me.
They are the easily accessibly things- cats, funny movies, cleaning house, walks, weights, errands, yardwork, exchanges with a neighbor who is walking by, visiting my favorite haunts in this city which is my home