spinning around

to be here fully present
is the hardest goal
I have ever had

I try to turn off the thoughts
by doing, doing,doing
A dead end road that is
Gotta take a detour

i dream of violet skies
against which  huge blue spruces stand
red birds nestle partly hidden in their depths


I can no longer fool myself
I never really could
but when I worked full time
I learned to rely on
the programmed
distraction

hamster in a cage
maybe I was
or maybe I was not

still often feel like
I am spinning around
working too hard
to catch the break
that I won't give to myself