Was eight in the morning on my birthday
Voice inside said you hang in the hole today
In the hole I don't bathe or brush my teeth
In the hole I don't try to make nice
The hole don't have no Warm Fuzzies or Smiley Faces
It got no course in compulsive positive thinking.
Here what it do got:
It got my real
The walls are plastered with icky gold-veined mirror panels
Keep me starin' back at myself everywhere
I stare so long that I see behind myself
Seein' behind myself
Hole is scary
Hole is about my Edge
Hole is about following my gut
I flash on the old lady
Who runs down Florida Avenue
She got pigtails and a backpack on
I see the guy who boogie woogies
In the median
At Florida and East Fowler
I figure it is about time
To get out of the place
I am afraid about what may happen
If I step over the Edge
Cracklin' Anny she shows up
She backs me up hard
Against the gold-veined mirrored wall
She is mad
And she has a good
Tongue-lashing for me
Let us listen to what she has to say:
"You push me back
Say I ain't nice to look at
Say I don't act right
Say you embarrassed of me"
"You treat me like refugee
But I been here whole time
Anny on your side
She got your back"
"I got some things to say
But you never listen
This time you listen
Time runnin' out"
"Your house too clean
You used to sleep in bed with kitty fur, cookie crumbs and paper piles
You happier then"
"You been thinkin' moresn' good for you
Been thinking all you life
You stop now"
"You hoop- dee- do girl
You kick it up more, you hear
You ain't nice girl"
"Nice girl smiles when she wants to cry
Nice girl agrees when she really mean fuck off
Nice girl goes along when she really want to go away"
"That ain't you
Don't mean you bad
Mean you grown-up
Doris Day
This is very creative, Paula. I think it a big 10. The 'voice" is there. Melanie
ReplyDeleteGosh, thanks. I went back and forth on this one. Yes, the "voice"- finding the voice. Hard.
ReplyDeleteYou should start one.