1964
I look at that face. I remember trying so hard to fit in. On the back of that photo it says I was with Peggy and Sally. I always felt like the girl who had something wrong with her.
This may not have shown on the surface, but deep inside I felt I never made the grade.
I felt I lacked the sparkle that my other friends had. Maybe it was just the writer in me- that observer part that is always looking on.
I find myself thinking that doing something will make it all go away, but this is not about achieving something external. This is about approving of the person I am. This is about letting myself have a good life without thinking that there is something I must do first in order to earn that.
I am going to take a walk.
Wow, that is exactly how I felt. Do you know how many years it has taken me to overcome that. And unfortunately it still creeps up on me at times.
ReplyDeleteI know, Carol. It is a voice that we absolutely must learn to silence in ourselves. It keeps us from living large. Starting to put my words out in a public way is part of NOT listening that voice anymore.
ReplyDeleteIf I am fortunate, I have one-third of a life left to live.
The voice must go!